Let's talk facial hair. No. Let's have me talk facial hair.
When I was a wee little lad I used to like to pretend I had a big old beard. Maybe it was because my Dad had a beard for most of my life. I vaguely remember him without it, but thinking of it kinda makes me feel uncomfortable.
Once when I was visiting my grandparents in New Mexico I used one of my grampa's old razors and cut my face or something. It was one of those old fashion razors that you put the flat double edged razors in(I remember thinking it looked like a robot's hand when I open and closed it). Since it was an old fashion razor I figured there was no way it could still work, I mean come on, it was old. I rememeber my Mom being upset when she saw me. She might remember it better then I do.
So, now that I'm a full grown man(stop laughing) I still dream of having a big old beard. The spirit is willing but the folicles are weak. I have a few on the tip of my chin. Yes a few. At least I think it looks good.
There is facial hair that I do object to. I think waxing or laser surgery or whatever should be part of a government healthcare program. I'd definitely support it then. There's something disturbing about getting a kiss on the cheek goodbye and feeling like you've been nuzzled by a Brillo pad. Think of the children! It's scary for them. It was for me. I didn't know what was happening.
So I leave it up to the others to pick up my quest. Save the razors for people like me. Those that don't really need them, but it still makes us feel better to use them.
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(a) How is this about Mike's mustache? You've failed the prompt. You'll have to try again.
ReplyDelete(b) You're second to last paragraph...what the crap are you talking about?!
(c) You are so right about thinking of your dad without a beard. It makes me uncomfortable too.
a)Talk to me when he has a mustache. Although I do suppose I could write a fan fiction piece about his mustache! Gosh! Why didn't I think of that before. You are truly a Muse.
ReplyDeleteb)It's vague reference to women that have too much facial hair for their own good. Then they try to shave it and it leaves stubble. They then kiss their great grand children and the poor kids are freaked out about it. It's still hard for me to talk about, hence the turbulent post.
c)If he were to shave his beard, I would have to write him out of the will.
Stop talking about Great Grammie! I know that is who traumatized you. That was scratchy wasn't it? I never liked kissing old people I didn't see very often. Why do parents make their children do that anyway?
ReplyDeleteI never liked kissing old people, either, when I was a child. PROCLAMATION: None of my descendents need to kiss me! You may wait until the next life.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree! Every health care plan should include a laser de-hairing for all women over the age of 50.
ReplyDelete